asquiet | oo3 | voice.

Entry tags:

oo3 | voice.

[Nezumi knows that that world visiting thing is going to come up soon and he's pretty unsure about it. Even if it's only for a day, he doesn't trust what the Malnosso are going to do. There's a reason he didn't offer to try it out.

But he figures it's time to finally start snooping this place out more. Go into the cracks he can't reach himself.]

Is there anybody who's good with machinery here? I'm talking about robots and cameras. That sort of deal. I want to discuss something.

[He wonders if he should say something else about this whole visiting another world idea, but he doesn't and only cuts off his feed.]

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Because you're my friend and I want you to talk to me! I hate being pushed away like this, even here, even after all we've been through back home...

[And he's talking about more in your case, Nezumi. Seeing as how he hasn't been through as much yet]

[He looks at him and sighs. By now he's gotten used to the fact he doesn't control his sighs, but he frowns at the sound anyway.

Sion must have a lot of questions. He doesn't know everything and maybe he should know. Yet sitting down and telling him wasn't something Nezumi felt comfortable with.]

I left you back home. You had things to do and I needed time. [Maybe this seems random, but he hopes Sion can read in between the lines for one time in his life.] I didn't leave because of something you did. As things are, we can't be in each other's lives. It wouldn't work.

[This is painful to even say and he feels extremely uncomfortable. He rubs at his temples and doesn't look at Sion.]

I don't really know how to handle you right now. When I left, I thought I wouldn't be seeing you for a while and by then I'd have things figured out. But then you come waltzing into this world, too, and you don't even come from the same time. Do you have any fucking idea how frustrating this whole thing is?

This isn't our home and we're not even in the same world. I have no idea what you're expecting from me, but you're getting your hopes up for a miracle. That's for certain.

...Would it be better if I left then? [After the last word comes out of his mouth, it leaves a sour after taste. Very sour, it almost makes him cringe. He didn't mean to say that, honest, he spoke without thinking.

All his brain registered was that even though it wasn't something Sion did--Nezumi doesn't want him here.

They can't be in each others lives.

Normally Sion would object to that, he'd argue right back and say something along the lines of 'of course we can be in each others lives!' but... what if that's not true? For once, he's starting to doubt himself. Nezumi is from his future, he's experienced things Sion has yet to himself back home. He sees Sion differently than he did before, no matter how big or small the difference is. It's still there. It exists. Things aren't the same as before.

If he's just being a burden to him by just standing here, invading his room, his apartment... he doesn't want that. So what if he moved, would that be better? Would their relationship be healthier? Would he be able to think?

...Would Nezumi be happier?]

Edited 2012-04-03 19:06 (UTC)

[Nezumi's surprised to hear those words and he stares at him. Would it be better? In some ways. Life with Sion was complicated and he didn't know how to handle him. This hadn't been apart of his plans.

But this was a world that was dangerous for Sion. It wasn't the West Block and the danger wasn't as apparent, but it was still there. He didn't want Sion facing this world by himself. He had left Sion behind in No.6 because that place was safe now. Sion would make it safe.

Neither of them could say the same in Luceti.]

Don't you think if I wanted to, I could have gotten you out of here? Don't ask something like that.

[It still leaves the problem that Nezumi doesn't know how to act around Sion and that Sion's lost. He figures he probably does seem to be treating him differently compared to the Nezumi of Sion's time. He frowns.]

I don't hate you, Sion. I don't even dislike you. Being around you isn't something I had been planning on. That's all. But...

[He takes his shirt off. Maybe it seems random, but he points to a scar on his chest. It's the scar from the bullet wound that he got when he had jumped in front of Sion.] See this? Do you know how I got this exactly? [He takes a moment because saying it is hard. Telling Sion things is hard.] The bullet was meant for you. Guess how I got it.

[Somehow, without even realizing it, he had been holding his breath before Nezumi could answer. As if he was afraid that Nezumi would just shove a suitcase at him and tell him to get out. Why would he ever think that he would do that? He isn't that cruel, no matter how distant they get...

But before he can even exhale entirely and think of how glad he is that Nezumi doesn't hate him or even dislike him and wants him to stay here with him--despite how he still doesn't want to remain a burden--Nezumi shows him that scar. From a bullet.

His entire body freezes and his eyes grow wide]

...Y-You were shot. [I let you get shot.]

[He's been around Sion long enough to see where this is going. He frowns and puts his hands on Sion's face, making him look at him.]

And you saved me. You saved my life twice that day and don't you dare start guilt tripping yourself. It wasn't your fault I was shot. [Not exactly.] But you're the reason I'm alive.

[He says the words softly and strokes the scar on Sion's face. He frowns and keeps Sion looking at him.] What happened that day. With Safu, me being shot, and everything else? It wasn't anybody's fault. That was the way it had to go.

And I don't regret it.

[Once Nezumi has his face, Sion tries to avert his eyes so he doesn't have to look directly at him.... but those unique gray eyes of his. They grab a hold of him so he can't move, he can't look away, so he just swallows hard and stares at him.]

Should I? [Yes, he's glad he saved Nezumi, no matter how many times he could never regret doing that. Ever. But... should he regret putting him in such a dangerous position? He almost got killed to protect him.

And Safu... how could he not regret just letting her die? Even though Nezumi told him there was nothing they could have done, that she was already gone... ]

[Nezumi glares at him and grabs onto his face a little harder. It's not overly painful, but he's definitely putting some force into it.]

Don't ask me that sort of bullshit question. Safu wanted you to live, your mama does, and so do I. Maybe I got hurt, but don't spit on my actions like that.

Everything that happened that day happened for a reason and if it hadn't? The wall would have stayed. You tore that wall down and showed me there is a third option sometimes.

[He lets go of him and shakes his head.] I know there's a lot of things you don't know. You didn't experience them and I can only tell you so much. Things would make a lot more sense if you knew everything, but you're going to have to trust me when I say you shouldn't be ashamed of what happened. I got hurt and I probably could have died. That's true, but.

[The next thing is painful for him to say. He's been taught to never talk like this, but it's Sion.]

But I don't regret making sure you lived.

[Trust him? Well of course he'll trust him, he always has. But there's still a small part of him that feels guilty for letting Nezumi get hurt, for letting Safu die... even if he did manage to break down the wall and get the ending he wanted. Maybe after he experiences everything back home, he'll understand. He'll just have to take his word for it for now though.

...At least Nezumi doesn't regret making sure Sion lived. That's something, right?

He leans forward so his head comes to rest on Nezumi's shoulder now that he's let go of his face] Thank you...

[Nezumi looks down at him. He's still shirtless, Sion. But oh well. It isn't like he hasn't seen Sion naked quite a few times. This isn't really anything big.

He smiles despite himself and begins stroking his hair.] The saddest thing about this whole affair is you don't remember my beautiful and passion filled kiss before I left. It was much better than your kiss. [Happy, Sion? He's acting himself.]

[Alright, so he smiles a little at that. Not that Nezumi can see since he's still kinda hiding his face but yeah. He lifts his head up and leans back to stand up straight again.]

I'm sorry to disappoint. You could always do it again if that will make you happy.

[He laughs at that and turns away to get his shirt back on.]

You are very adept at suggesting the most senseless things. My deepest apologies, but some things cannot be duplicated. Your imagination will have to suffice until you are able to return home and experience it for yourself.

[Sion kinda smirks at that. He doesn't really have to use his imagination, he had kissed him plenty of times during the last experiment but still.]

And if I'm too impatient?